Helloooo...I am back! Been two weeks since I came back from the honeymoon. Stories about the honeymoon is updated under the wedding blog. I thought I'll feel refreshed and recharged after this trip but yet I am not. Work to me still feels sucky. I mean, the pay and money wise is good...jus the job scope. I don't feel important here cos most of the time I am left to do my own stuff without any instruction or direction. I can be independant, but I do need some motivation from time to time. I need to feel important in the job I am doing. But all I get here is some useless emails telling me about his available schedule or asking me to fix appointments with XYZ, ABC etc.
I have been grumbling to dear about my wish to become a housewife. Not the yellow color type of cos! But a homemaker where I can spend my day tidying the house, preparing a great healthy meal and waiting for dear to come home. But all my hopes were dashed when dear simply replied, "like that you'll lose touch with society." Comeon, I know that wish is impossible at this point of time as we need to bring the bread home. Both of us need to work hard to provide for our "comfy" future. Sometimes I really wished I had married someone rich instead...budden I'll probably have another set of complaints like, "hubby doesn't spend time with me.", "will hubby be seeing other woman outside.?" LOL, like i said, humans can never be satisfied.
Here I am stuck in the monotoneous momentum of a office job...waiting for knock off time. Bosses are away this week so I am left with some freedom to clear up my work, surf the net etc. I hate this feeling that I am not good enough...hate to feel unimportant. In my past jobs, I get the same feeling too sometimes...but as I am able to interact more often with my boss, and they seem to value my opinion in most big decisions, plus I am always one of the pioneer in the co. which makes me the senior as well, things are not too bad. But here, I always have to worry if I am going to be replaced soon if I dun do well enough (can't blame me for feeling this way, nobody ever tells me if my performance is good or bad ever since I joined). Sometimes I get this idea, is this co. a place where pple stay for the sake of having a stable income? If yes, how come we can do so well in sales that everyone else in the industry looks up to us. I know cos I've had the chance to meetup with people from other co.
Enough rambling about work now...that's all for this entry.